Musings during the Pandemic #21

I am a person that can easily forget something. I always forget people’s name, the direction to a certain place in which I can easily be lost, and sometimes of what I studied. I can even forget to eat my lunch or dinner. I forgot to wish my parents their birthday. I forgot to pray for the people that asked me prayers and eventually forgot to spend time with my God some days.

All the above were forgotten not because I intended to, it happens sometimes to the things that I think are less important at that moment of time. For me, most of the time, I forget because I was very occupied with works and sometimes it was because I was thinking too much, too much of unnecessary things. Some people say that we can actually choose to forget, especially the painful events in our life in order to move on as the saying goes forgive and forget. However, be reminded that to forgive is not to forget, it’s okay if you still can remember the painful memories even after you have already forgiven them as long as you have Jesus’ peace within you when you are reminded of them, then you know you have forgiven.

Studies were made and it was discovered that we can actually choose to forget something, but we must try very hard enough to do it because it is a passive process unlike remembering which is an active process. From what I have been through for the past few years of my life, yes, I can choose memories and make them slip away from my memory by focusing on other stuff or make myself busy with other stuff. But whenever I was alone and free, the painful events will somehow crawl back into my memories and if I am still holding on to the painful events, I will then be reminded and feel the pain again. It is not possible to intentionally erase memories from our mind especially when we have no medical issues relating to memory lost, but we can try to make some memories less prominent.

What were the worst things that I have ever forgotten in my entire life? At one point of my life, I forgot that God loves me. I forgot that I am a child of the King Most High. I forgot that God has a purpose for me and my life. I forgot about me, myself, and my life. I thought these were less important than the world around me, and so it slipped away from my head. But the thing is, to forget that God loves me is actually to ignore God in my life. It is not just about memories; it is about my identity. God loves and treasures me, a precious child of the King Most High who has a purpose for me, is my true identity. When I forget my identity, it’s like walking around introducing myself to people without a name. Forgetting my identity; ignoring God and His love, my life is a disaster. I can barely even take care of myself. Instead of remembering His love, I remember the pain from the pasts and indulged in them. Thank God for the saints that He sent to save me, again and again. By His love, mercy, and graces, I manage to come out from my “dementia” and again claim that I am His.

Jesus said, “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you.” (John 14:26) Jesus also said, “Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)

What is your identity? If your answer is your name, you are not fully correct. You are a child of God. Hold onto your true identity very closely, remember it very clearly, claim it every moment and live it every day. Be proud of it! Yes, the world is full of troubles which always make us forget our identity, but we are not alone. Ask the Holy Spirit to remind us of His love, just a “Come, Holy Spirit” prayer is more than enough. After coming out from my “dementia”, every morning as I woke up, many times throughout the day and every night before I sleep, I claimed my identity. Whenever I started to forget and go back to the “dementia” state, I called upon the Holy Spirit to help me, to remind me and when I asked, I received. I can go to church every day, serve the Lord everywhere, but if I forgot His love, whatever that I do for Jesus, they will be empty, a void. Instead of experiencing peace and joy of the Lord, I will start to be impatient, grumpy, and complaining about everything, not because God is not there, but because I forgot my identity. Claim your identity and then serve the Lord and others with the authority that God has given to you, the authority of a son and daughter of the Father. Listen to God’s confession of His love every day, every moment. From time to time for as many times as you should, just be still and be quiet, listen to His confession, listen to His very own voice saying: “I love you”. Loud and clear, only for you. I am confident in saying this, that Jesus will never stop confessing His love to you even when you don’t know or don’t want to hear it, in fact that’s all He is saying to you when you ignore Him. Let your cup overflow with His love and then allow His love to flow from your cup to others as you serve others.

Let us pray.
Come Holy Spirit, remind me of my identity. You promise to teach me and remind me things, I trust in You so do what only You can do. I don’t want to live this life forgetting and ignoring God’s love, remind me of Your unfailing love for me. Help me to live my life as a true child of God. In Jesus’s name, Amen.